Australia - September 2004


Melbourne
It's amazing if you sit long enough where you end up. I sat and sat, and two days later found myself in Melbourne, Australia. I arrived here on Friday, having left LA Wed night. Melbourne and I got off to a little bit of a rocky start. I got into town right in the middle of the Aussie Rules Football parade. Melbourne is the capital of ARF or "footy." This place has been going crazy. The place I was staying was right in the middle of the action, and consequently, I had to walk many blocks with my bags to my hotel. Thank goodness I didn't do the true backpacker thing and had my bag with wheels. I may have left a few bruised in the process, but sometime later, I did make it to the Greenhouse Backpacker. Oh yes, I know some of you are a bit surprised to hear I went the backpacker route, but the thought was that it would be a good way to meet people while traveling alone. The compromise was that I'd get my own room and bathroom everywhere I went. Or so I thought.

I check in and learn I have a bunk in my room and there are no private bathrooms. OK, I decide to roll with it because it's all part of the great adventure, right? I go to unpack in my bunk room, and realize there's no closet or drawers. Nothing but a 2' high locker. I don't know what a person puts in there (perhaps the dreaded backpack). There is a stick hanging over the top of the locker and I hang a few things off of it, and decide I have to get out and walk since I've been sitting for days. The parade crowds are everywhere so I hike it over to the Royal Botanical Gardens for a little peace and quiet. Mission accomplished. There were beautiful gardens that went on for miles and miles. Flowers, trees, ponds, birds and they've recreated a rainforest through a misting device over specific trees. I decompress in the gardens for a while before heading back out to the big city. I stumble into an impressionist exhibit at the National Gallery of Victoria. They have a large, wonderful display on loan from the Musee d'Orsay. It was fantastic, at least what I remember of it. 3/4 of the way through I thought I was going to need to be airlifted out of there since jet lag and a lack of sleep hit me like a ton of bricks. Seeing as it was only 6p, I wouldn't allow myself to go to bed. I stumbled around the city a while longer, grabbed some dinner and headed back to the bunk by 10p.

I woke somewhat refreshed after an evening of what I can only guess was a huge party by 19 year olds with extremely loud, Cockney accents, at the foot of my door. Luckily my extreme tiredness let me drift in and out of the noise. I headed down to the communal "brekkie" and met some nice blokes from the UK and a nice gal from Alaska. One of the English guys asked if I was working today. I practically yelled hell no, to which I soon learn is not the norm. Most people staying in this hostel are also working...so they can travel and see the country. It's a bit absurd to most to see the whole country in 2 weeks. I haven't met anyone who's been gone for less than 3 months. Evidently it's fairly easy to get a job if you're not too picky (don't worry, we all know I'm too picky). Had a good chat and agreed to meet up with some of the people later to watch the big footy Finals.

I went out and starting discovering Melbourne. I soon discovered that Melbourne’s character lies in its neighborhoods. I found some great "bohemian" neighborhoods called Collingwood and Fitzroy. Cute, eclectic shops and rows of nice, outdoor cafes. I had found a new home....and my first new job...Yup, that day, I was going to be a writer. Sit in cafes, write, drink tea, and talk to people. You'll come visit, yes? Saw some beautiful churches and more gardens, but realize I'm running late to meet up to watch the Finals.

People are all over the city wearing the scarf colors of their chosen team. We end up at a pub down the street where they brew their own beer. They also came around with a silver tray with home baked meat pies, an Aussie tradition. The game is crazy - feet, hands, head and a lot of fighting. Halfway through the game, the owner of the pub yells at the top of his lungs some sort of instructions. The drinking (his and mine) cause me to need a translation. I turn to my Scottish friend (who wasn't much help) who attempts to translate, and from what I could gather, the owner wants to lock down the pub at the end of the game. If you want to get out, he can take you down fire escapes in the back now, but you can't get back in. Evidently there's been known to be some riots and vandalism and he wants to avoid the whole thing, by closing the place (with us in it). Everyone is hooting and cheering, and I thought, well, I suppose it's not a bad place to spend some time. Unfortunately no such excitement occurs. I did meet a really nice couple from CO who lived in Port Douglas (my next stop). They drew me a map, gave me recommendations and even their old bus tickets, so I'm set.

I headed to Carlton for dinner. Another great neighborhood that boasts almost 100 restaurants in a 5 block radius. It's their little Italy, and yes, I ate carbs. Quite delicious and great atmosphere.

Sunday, I started the day at Queen Victoria Market. They're selling everything from meat, seafood, produce to shoes, socks and camel rides. It started to rain so I soon learned that Melbourne has a great underground shopping, “laneway,” system. One mall leads into the next. They have lots of tucked away shops down alleys and hidden streets. It's fun to explore and yes, there may have been some good clothes to look at as well.

I capped the day off with a bus ride out to Phillips Island. On the peninsula of this island, they have a huge number of penguins who spend their days in the water, and then as soon as it gets dark, they all scurry on land to their burrows. So they've set-up seating at the edge of the water for you to sit and watch them parade on land. They wait for darkness because there are many predator birds that attack them if they come up sooner. There were some seagulls waiting from them last night so we weren't sure what would happen.

You sit, and sit, and then a wave rolls in, and 10 little heads pop up and just like that, they're on their feet. They're all lined up, squaring off against the seagulls. It's like a scene out of West Side Story. Penguins are fluffing their feather, the seagulls, flapping their wings, then bam, a big wave comes, and knocks all the penguins over and washes them out to sea. The crowd is cheering the penguins on, so the next wave rolls in, and they're on their feet again. To give you a picture, these penguins are the smallest of the 17 different kinds of penguins. They’re no more than 1' tall and walk like a grandmother with pantyhose around her knees. They eventually make a run for it, and head for the hills. This goes on for about an hour. Evidently we "lucked" into arriving for mating season. I don't think I want to remember those sounds, but it was a fun night and quite a sight to see.
Yarra Valley Vineyards, outside Melbourne

Today I toured the Yarra Valley Vineyards. Great, small tour. Tried some good wines and even ended up at 1 of the 3 Domaine Chandon's in the world. Beautiful vineyard. Today, I envision myself working on a vineyard. Had a gourmet lunch at one of the vineyards and chatted with some really nice Aussies. Taught them all about Tivo today. Can't believe they don't have it or know what it is. One woman leaned over during lunch and said to me, “just whisper, is that George Bush going to be elected again?” That launched a whole political debate between the Aussies, Kiwis and me. Fun group.

I have one more day in Mebourne and then I'm heading up north Wed. where I'll see the Great Barrier Reef and do some hiking in the rainforest.
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I closed out Melbourne on a good note. I had a wonderful meal in Chinatown at a recommended restaurant last night. They gave me two menus - one Chinese and one Schezuan food. I couldn't decide and was asking the waiter about a few things and then he says he'll just bring me a little of both. It was excellent.

The previous night turned out a bit differently, and I didn't getaway quite so easily. I went to a Greek restaurant since Australia is home to more Greeks than anywhere else in the world, besides their homeland. The owner stopped by my table and talked to me for a while. Soon I got his life story, all the ex-wives, his travel, his restaurants, etc...Next thing I know he's bringing me free food. He got busy, so I got to eat in a little peace. I thought I'd sneak out and pay my bill, but he told the cashier that he'd handle my bill. Then he asks if I want coffee, and I said no, I'm fine. Evidently, that didn't translate and next thing I know, he's bringing me next door to his coffee house and telling the guy to bring me some coffee. He then asks if I smoke. Again, I reply no, and again, that didn't seem to mean anything to him. He says, you sit here and I come back and have smoke with you. He leaves and I'm sitting in a smoke filled room with what I have to guess is half of the Greek Mafia. I take a few sips of coffee and really don't want it since I'm going to go to sleep soon and don't want to be up all night. I'm hot, it's smokey, and I'm worried that Greek mob boss wants me for wife #3, so while the mafiaso isn't looking, I sneak out the back door. I could embellish and say they chased me down the street with baklava in their hands, but they didn't, and I went back to the bunk and slept well.
Cairns
I arrived in Cairns today. I checked into the Bohemia Lodge, or should I say the hotel Shangri La. Yes, it's still a backpackers place, BUT, my room is bunkless, AND I have my own bathroom AND I have soap. Lap 'o luxury. I have to think the smell of ammonia will dissipate at some point, or perhaps it will lull me to sleep...a deep, deep sleep. In talking to many people, I've decided I have to make a change in plans. I can't leave Australia without seeing the Whitsundays, so I'm getting my sea legs on, and doing a 3 day - 2 night sail out to these amazing islands. There's only 6 other people on the boat as of today, which is good and bad. Nice to have lots of space, but it's a working boat so that means we're all required to do a little work on the sails. We'll see how that goes. For the sailors out there, the boat is called the "Spank Me." Yes, I laughed too, but this is supposed to be a big racing boat. Done through Oz Travel, so I'm off tomorrow morning and back Sat. afterno n. Would you believe I'm then sitting on a bus for 10 hours to come back to this area and do a day on the Great Barrier Reef Sun. Should be an adventure.

Off to the open seas. Bon Voyage!
Sailing the Whitsundays

I have returned from the open water, and must say I'm a little water logged, but very content. Had an amazing time. I mean, how can you not have a good time on a boat called, "Spank Me." It did used to be an America's Cup boat by a different name that now eludes me. I lucked into some great passengers. 2 gals from London, guy and gal from Quebec, and a couple from Holland. We had 4 crew members - Aussies and Kiwis, and the 11 of us were the Spank Me Team for 3 days. Not having fully researched the whole expedition due to the last minute change, I was a little surprised to see the living conditions. You know what sushi boats look like - all hollowed out in the midddle? Picture that, then, attach 8 little pieces of wood to each side, and stack them on top of each other. Now you have our beds. They were bunks that were in the middle of a tiny little hall. (I can't escape the bunk - it haunts me everywhere I go). Privacy was non-existent. There was a very small kitchen that if you stood in, you could touch all sides, and behind that was a block where the food was sat once cooked. There was no where to sit downstairs so all merriment was done outside on deck. Oh, it was tight. I was just glad there were only 11 of us.

So we all helped in raising the sails and getting the ship going and soon we were challenging another boat to a race. Next thing we know we're all running around hoisting sails and watching for swinging booms. We beat the other boat, and soon learn how Spank Me got its name. After we win, we all stand on one side of the ship, with our butts out, spanking the person next to us, yelling "spank me." We've come a long way from the America's Cup people.

We sail a while and then hit a cove and jump out and do some snorkeling. Great snorkeling. Clear, lots of fish, beautiful water. We turn the motor on to leave and it's not working. Spank that. So we have to raise the sails and blow basically. Eventually we get somewhere and skipper Matt looks into the problem. Keep in mind the problem is in the middle of our bedroom/kitchen because the pipes and electronics are under the floor boards. That gets fixed at some point and then the bathroom breaks at another point. Luckily there were 2 bathrooms so all was not completely lost. Also, note that said broken (backed up pipe) is in the middle of our bedroom/kitchen area. Ah the smell. That will take a few loads of laundry.

So there were several mishaps, but you can't keep the Spank Me crew down. The scenery is so spectacular that you can just float out there and be happy. And we did that quite a bit of time since our motor was dead. We went to the infamous Whitehaven Beach, which words cannot even begin to do justice to the beauty of the beach. An attempted 25 pictures will try and give it a run for its money, but it's definitely one of my top 3 sights in the world. The sand is stark white and made of silicon (granite). It is so fine that it feels like you're walking on flour. It even squeaks when you walk on it. The color of the water turns 8 shades from blue to green on the beach right in front of you. We watched the tide go out and then you have the swirls of the white sand under the green water. Absolutely magnificent.

Each day began with the sunrise...since there's no doors on anything and see above for a description of the bedroom facilities. I was usually taking a swim (aka shower) by 7a. We always anchored for the night in a quiet cove so the swim was on absolute glass. It was fabulous starting the day floating in the blue water while looking up at the blue, blue sky. Then we'd sail. We’d swim, snorkel, bushwalk on an island, and then the motor would break again. At night, we'd drink and tell stories. We watched the moon come up every night over the mountains. It's just like watching the sunrise. Before the moon does come up, the sky is filled with millions of brilliant stars against a pitch black sky. I saw the Southern Cross which was pretty amazing. And the nights are so quiet...except for the Dutch guy's music. He brought a bunch of CDs so by the end of the night we were usually listening to techo and all singing in different languages.

I took a lot of American heat while on the boat. Not just political, but just who we are and how we live. The Quebec guy saw Super Size Me on the plane and thinks that sums up our mentality. By the end of the trip, they confessed to now thinking there's one cool American...actually they said there must be 3 since my parents must be ok. I tried to convince them there are many more, but not sure if they believe. I'm doing grassroots marketing here people.

So 3 days later, I arrived back in Arlie Beach with a pending 10 hour bus trip back to Cairns. I had not showered in 3 days so you can imagine my delight at seeing a shower spicket coming out of the side of a wall near the bus station and just off the beach. I must have looked (and smelled) like a homeless person. I'm in my clothes and at least trying to get the salt water off my body. I board the bus and hunker down. Soon I smell this awful smell and look for the culprit. In my movement, I realize the smell is coming from me. Oh, not my finest hour. Bus ride was actually fairly painless. I think I was just happy to be away from the boat smell. They showed some movies, made some stops and by Midnight, I was back in Cairns. I showered at my hostel, which by the way, was a small, white, tile room with a door and spicket coming out of the wall. It was luxury. I had enormous salt deposits in my hair. Nice.

I slept about 4 hours and then was up to catch a shuttle bus to Port Douglas to tour the Great Barrier Reef. Damn that thing is pretty great. I was a little watered logged, but I hadn't actually been in the Reef yet, so had to do it. Met a great Scottish gal...or at least I think I did. Hard to understand her, but we had a lot of laughs. The snorkeling was bar none. Lots 'o fish, great coral, clear water. I signed up to do an intro dive, went through the short intro talk, tanked up, and completely chickened out. Hard to point to exactly what it was, except my recurring belief that people aren't meant to breathe underwater. Perhaps it was the instructor, who I can safely say has not yet finished his English as a Second Language class. In his little 10 minute class, he tried to read words off a paper, so the instruction was a little sketchy. When we got into the water, he was just jerking me down saying you fine, fine, ok, come now. I felt like I was on a bad date and the guy wouldn't take no for an answer...which pissed me off even more. I got my snorkel gear back on and returned to the safe water. Spank that Spanish man. I was laughing with one of the cool Aussies working the boat about what a failure I am, and he says, no mate, a failure would be you not coming back. Here, here.

So now I'm in Port Douglas overnight and going to try and cram in what I planned for 3 days into 3 hours tomorrow morning...and yes, it does involve driving in a rental car. Wish me luck. Off to Sydney tomorrow. It's all going too fast and I never have enough time to do everything, but I'm enjoying every minute.

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I've finally dried off from all my time in the water, and now I think I need to dry out from all the wine I've consumed. Last I left you, I was in Port Douglas. That night I went to the infamous cane toad races. A guy in Port Douglas breeds cane toads and then races them a few times a week in this bar. You get a number when you come in and if he calls your number, you're assigned a toad until he has 6 people and 6 toads assembled around a circular table. The object is to get the toad from the center of the table, off the table and into your hand. The only means by which you can do this is one of those party blowers that unfurl when you blow into them. The host is quite a character and is telling funny stories while the race is on. That was the highlight of Port Douglas nightlife. Toad racing. I think one night may have been plenty of time.

I got up early in the morning and apprehensively went to rent a car. I think the rental agent was a little nervous when he saw me get in on the passenger side. Well it's not our passenger side at home. With a few flicks of the windshield wipers (that must be the universal American turn signal), I was off. First stop was Mossman Gorge in the Daintree Rainforest. Beautiful rainforest. Very green, lush, and nice rocks and water. Can you tell I've run out of good descriptor words? Next stop, Kuranda. I looked at what should have been a big waterfall, but Australia hasn't had much rain so it was a big dry, rocky, ridge. Pretty though. Then I had to run to the airport to catch my flight to Sydney.
Sydney - Hunter Valley Vineyards

Once in Sydney, I rented a car again to see the surrounding areas first. Driving in Sydney is a little different that driving up north. There's a few more people in Sydney and the signs aren't quite as clear as the, "National Park, 500m on right" signs. Throw in rush hour traffic, darkness, the wheel on the wrong side of the car, the car on the wrong side of the road, and you got a recipe for adventure. It took me a little longer than anticipated to make it to my destination - Hunter Valley. Hunter Valley is the big wine region. It boasts more cellar dollars than any other location in Australia, but is only responsible for producing about 7% of Australian wine. Most of the vineyards are small and only sell to the area and restaurants. That's all they need to do to turn a profit.

I stayed 2 nights on a vineyard with a great restaurant. As soon as I got out of my car, I was greeted by a wonderful, little scruffy white dog, who followed me to my room. The room, by the way, was quite nice. Finally, some proper accommodations. It's nice not to have to wear your flip flops in the shower. I had dinner that night in their restaurant. There were maybe 4 other tables occupied when I was there. One of the couples next to me starting chatting me up. They gave me the whole wine rundown and even ended up giving me a glass of a prized wine that you can no longer find anywhere. What kind of people would share a prized wine with a stranger? Nice Australians, that's who.

In the morning, Steve picked me up for my wine tour of the area. I was surprised to find I was the only one, but he did say we had 2 other passengers still to get. We had some time to kill before picking the other 2 up so he asked where I wanted to visit. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you start any good day with a glass of bubbly? They have only one vineyard that produces all sparklings, so off Steve and I go. Australians are big on white and red sparklings. They use any grape they can find. Some are down right bad (which of course I describe to the pourer as extremely different, something I'm not used to). I belly up and get to try all of their varieties - that would be 10, and it would be 10:30am. It's going to be a good day...though maybe not for Steve.

We then go pick-up our other 2 passengers who are 2 really nice gals from London. Would you believe one of the girls went to the same school I went to in York, England? Small world. We then started running around to a bunch of great boutique wineries. All of them let us taste everything. Almost all have red, white and a lot of port and dessert wines. It was a pretty quiet day so we got a lot of attention...I'm sure it had nothing to do with 3 drunk girls on their own. I bought quite a bit of wine. Prices were really good, and so was the wine. Just have to pack them appropriately. I already broke one bottle in Sydney (very bummed).

The vineyard dog was waiting for me when I got home. He followed me out to the middle of the vineyards to watch the sun set and have a glass of wine (yeah, hadn't had enough yet). I had a nice meal of cheese and meats for dinner that I had gotten from the cheese shop at one of the vineyards (hmm, wonder who asked to go there?). They dropped a bfast basket for me since I was leaving early in the morning and didn't have time for the big hot bfast. I got up early and burnt my toast, and set off the fire alarm. Twice. Nothing like announcing your departure at 6:30a. Wine dog was waiting for me. We had a tearful goodbye and then I was off to the Blue Mountains.

I had a beautiful 4 hour drive through the mountains. It's like someone came in and scooped out a little dirt through the middle of all of these mountain ranges, and put in a tiny, road. Oh it was windy, but the views were magnificent. I ended at my destination, Blackheath Mountains before lunch and was anxious to hit the trail someone had highly recommended. It's called the Grand Canyon loop and that's because you hike down, and down, and down. It was about an hour straight down and then you're in this almost make believe land. You expect little water fairies to come out. Sometimes you could hold your arms out and touch both sides of the mountains you were passing. You hiked through narrow caves, but were basically hiking through, in, and over water. Hopping over rocks all the way through, and under water falls, though some were merely a drip due to the lack of water. There would be dramatic temperature drops and then it would rise 10 degrees in other areas. It was really a special experience. What wasn't AS special, was the hike up and out of the canyon. My calves and quads are screaming today.

I stopped at a few other sites in the Blue Mountains, and one that really stood out was actually the tram to get down to a canyon. Yes, the tram (scenester)...or should I say the...plunge to your death machine. You get into this thing at the top of a mountain and then it descends between a small opening between two massive mountains. It descends at a 75 degree angle. Evidently it's the only machine of it's kind. People are just screaming the whole way down as you're pretty much in an open air elevator watching the canyon floor creep up. To get back up, it goes backwards up the mountain. It was pretty cool.

I then wrapped up my country tour and headed back into Sydney. Dropped the rental and checked into paradise. This is where the hostel de-programming really kicks in. I cashed in miles to stay in this totally plush hotel in the middle of the city. I nearly cried when I saw the room. I may not be able to leave.

I ventured out last night to see the Harbor Bridge and Opera House. It's amazing how you can see a picture so many times, but when you see it in real life, it just renders you speechless. I just gasped. It's truly spectacular. I walked around a bit and ate at a great Japanese restaurant for dinner.

This morning, I hit Darling Harbour, the Royal Gardens and took the ferry out to Manly Beach. I took a great cliff walk between beaches that led me all along the water. The beaches aren't very big, but the architecture sprinkled along the cliffs on water is really beautiful.

I have a few more neighborhoods to explore tomorrow and I'm also going to see the other famous beach, Bondi. Tomorrow night I'm seeing a piano concerto at the Opera House. Two of my Spank Me friends are also in town and will join me. Sat. morning I'll go to some of their great open markets and then I'm on a plane Sat afternoon and home about the same time. There was definitely not enough time to see everything, but I've had a great time. I am anxious to get home and see all of you. I've missed everyone a lot and look forward to catching up very soon!

Your Australian Correspondent,
KP